Get Up! Get up! Get Up!

For thousands of years, we've been domesticating the wolf. Obviously we aren’t done yet. White Fang is to house dogs what Muppets are to Prime Ministers.

I like dogs so much it’s almost a fetish. They possess every quality I seek in humans, plus many, many more.

They wake me in the morning way too early.

See, dogs have this alarm clock inside them, right next to their oversized hearts, and when the clock strikes 6 a.m., the alarm clock goes off.

Doesn’t matter if it’s dark or snowing or you drank a little too much tequila the night before. They don’t seem to care.

Look, I’ve been getting up with babies for 40 years. What’s a few years more of that, right?