Laughter Is Prayer

And jokes are whisky.

Random thoughts while celebrating oxygen, decadence and other spring traditions:

• Baseball is church bells.

• Baseball is a call to prayer.

• Hey batter, batter…

• I prefer longing to regret.

• I prefer whimsy to sentiment … gratitude to self-pity.

• I prefer crickets to clocks.

• “Singing is like a celebration of oxygen.” —Björk

• You can quote me: Movies have become about as fun as toe fungus.

• Comedy genius Bill Lawrence (“Scrubs, “Shrinking,” “Ted Lasso”) should run a studio.

• FYI, I got rich the moment I had kids.

• Pets are riches too though.

• Hey, whatever fills your heart, right?

• Coaching tip: A dugout is where dreams are made, not careers.

• Pro sports credo: “More than enough isn’t enough.”

• “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.” — Anthony Burgess

• Prediction I: The Dodgers three-peat.

• Prediction II: The Rams win the next Super Bowl.

• Meanwhile, the Lakers remain an enigma wrapped in an egg roll.

• If I ever open a chicken joint, it’ll be called “What the Cluck.”

• If I ever write another parenting book, it’ll be called “Dad to the Bone.”

• Yep, like the old song: Da-da-da-daaaad-to-the-bone…

• Lucky Boy breakfast burritos make me mental — in a good way.

• As do Charlie’s cheeseburgers, in the Fairfax Farmers Market.

• As do soup dumplings at Dan Modern Chinese (various locations).

• “When your children are teen-agers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.” —Nora Ephron

• March is madness.

• March is buzzer beaters.

• Best breakfast spot: the patio at Brookside, overlooking the driving range and the Rose Bowl.

• Menu tip: Avocado toast with salmon.

• I love baseball the way Abercrombie loved Fitch.

• Sure, Streisand was a bit cringy on the Oscars. Still, how wonderful her Redford tribute.

• I love cringy.

• Trivia question: Name three famous novelists who were also physicians.

• My advice to aspiring writers: Linger in bed.

• More advice: Close the bar (in L.A., that’s 9 p.m.)

• Hey, I’m not forgetful; I’m just buffering.

• Descanso Gardens is out of control right now — in a good way.

• Take a bow, Pasadena Playhouse. Your production of “Amadeus” was sensational. OK, maybe a little long.

• Note: Playhouse head honcho Danny Feldman is a local treasure.

• A good play is a slow stroll through the human heart.

• “I prefer neurotic people. I like to hear rumblings beneath the surface.” —Stephen Sondheim

• FYI, “The Cat in the Hat” uses only 220 words.

• So? Most of my columns use only about 10.

• Hey batter, batter…

• FYI, the best coaches call your bluffs.

• Got a good feeling about this Chesney dude now coaching UCLA football.

• Note to Mick Cronin. Nobody loves a sore winner.

• Hockey fact: Anze Kopitar is L.A.’s Ice Mamba.

• Flower fact: Descanso has more than 700 types of camellias.

• Fun fact: When they fall in the creeks, they make camellia soup.

• “Just remember, once you are over the hill you begin to pick up speed.” —Charles Schulz

• At Grand Central Market, the older the food stand the better the grub.

• Big props to Duke’s in Malibu for the recent reopening.

• Sometimes happiness finds you; most times you have to get off the couch.

• Yeah, I hate that too.

• But Duke’s or Descanso are good places to start.

• Hot tip: Duke’s Barefoot Bar.

• Cold tip: Graham Central Station ice cream at Handel’s.

• ’Tis the season for naughty little desserts.

• Favorite sundae topping: irreverence.

• My new motto: “Honestly, who cares?”

• Newborns remind us that we’re all touched by an angel.

• “Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your own living room by people you wouldn’t have in your own home.” —David Frost

• Something I miss: Grass stains.

• Other things I miss: Milk Duds and Jiffy Pop.

• And finally: Siskel & Ebert.

• Happy heavenly 100th to Miles Davis (May 26).

• Poetry can make you “remember what you didn’t know you knew.” — Robert Frost

• Ditto, Bombay gin.

• After two gins, I turn into an Irish pirate.

• FYI, after 100 years, Phillippe’s is doing away with the sawdust on the floors, citing safety and insurance standards.

• Bring your own?

• Trivia answer: Novelists who were also physicians: Arthur Conan Doyle, Somerset Maugham, Michael Crichton.

• When a doctor dies, I’m always a little shocked.

• Thank God for babies.

• Thank God for March.

• Thank God for Thin Mints.

• If laughter is prayer, jokes are whisky.

• “To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life.” —Somerset Maugham

• Best two words in the world?

• “Play ball!”

• Best three words in the world?

• Hey batter, batter…

• Shaaawiiiiiiiing!

Props to everyone who has supported this new Substack venture. Please keep the comments coming. Like the photos of the grandkids, they are often the best part!

And, again, cheers to those who turned out for the Happy Hour Hiking Club last Saturday. As you might’ve guessed, I’m a big believer in the f-words: fun and fellowship. Thanks to Armando at El Portal for hosting us, and for Diana Gould for helping set it all up. Thanks to Nina Hoffmann for her terrific photos, as always.

Upcoming hikes: Santa Monica Beach and Descanso Gardens. Stay tuned for dates and details (Reminder, paid subscribers get first dibs).

Next week: Here’s to Easter and “the blessed slenderness of spring.”

In two weeks: A salute to so-called Boomer Wisdom.

The Happy Hour Hiking Club at El Portal in Pasadena.