Brats, Beer and Marching Bands

Random thoughts while waiting for the brats to brown and the keg to chill.

• Welcome to the “season of mists and mellow fruitfulness,” as Keats put it.

• Welcome to October.

• TV needs more funny.

• TV needs more heart.

• “Don’t you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils.” — Tom Hanks in “You’ve Got Mail.”

• Health update: My love for college football has just been upgraded to “serious.”

• Doctor: “Take two brats and call me in the morning.”

• The only dog breed capable of sarcasm: Siberian huskies.

• And you know who’s super sardonic? French poodles.

• “People forget years and remember moments.” —Ann Beattie

• Note: If you’re raising a family, you’re raising the future.

• Quick question: Has any hit show bottomed out as quickly as “Ted Lasso?”

• “The Bear” has crashed too.

• Makes you appreciate “Cheers,” doesn’t it?

• “I’m on top of the world….it’s a dismal spot in Greenland somewhere.” — Norm Peterson

• Oddest county fair food: Indiana’s hot beef sundae.

• Runner-up: Wisconsin’s Elvis on a Stick.

• Remember when there was a sitcom about a talking horse?

• Remember when a TV housewife was actually a witch?

• “I don’t know. I have an aunt who thinks she’s a lighthouse. Whenever it rains she insists on climbing up on the garage roof to warn the sailors.” — Darrin Stevens on “Bewitched,” trying to brush aside the news that his new wife is a witch.

• My first crush: Wilma Flintstone.

• To me, Dodger Stadium sunsets are like jewelry.

• Meanwhile, Dave Roberts is becoming the most-beloved sports figure since Vin Scully.

• In L.A., legends are jewelry too.

• Overheard: “If you want a foldable device, buy a book.”

• I really dig Burbank.

• And Larchmont Village still speaks to me.

• If I lived in Hancock Park, I’d breakfast at the Original Farmer’s Market every morning.

• Definition of “drop-dead gorgeous”: the Rose Bowl’s new Field Club.

• UCLA tailback Wayne Knight has Heisman-caliber hops.

• Best small city in America? Pasadena.

• Recently on the market there: Batman’s TV mansion, listed at $32 million.

• Ka-POWWWWWWW!

• “Alfred, please patch me through to the Commissioner.” — Batman.

• Simple walks appeal to me more and more.

• Yet, so does keeping Gotham safe.

• Confession: I just had a fling with a nice bowl off chili.

• “You better live every day like your last. Because one day you’re going to be right.” — Ray Charles.

• Alfred, where are you?

• Definition of “separation anxiety”: the way dogs follow us into the loo.

• I prefer “songs from the era before songwriters took drugs to make themselves stupid and ambiguity became the sign of artistic ambition.” —Garrison Keillor

• Brutal. But I know what you mean, GK.

• Top five marching bands (my ranking): 1. Ohio State; 2. Jackson State; 3. Notre Dame; 4. Purdue; 5. USC.

• Bottom five: 1. Rice; 2. Oregon, 3; Colgate, 4; UCLA, 5; Yale.

• Still, a big shoutout to all the kids who put in the time.

• Why can’t NFL teams stick with one basic uniform?

• Why can’t they all play outside, instead of domes?

• “People don’t live in New Orleans because it is easy. They live here because they are incapable of living anywhere else in just the same way.” — Ian McNulty

• Same for Los Angeles.

• Trivia time: What is a “Goldilocks temperature?”

• “It was a year without seasons; it was a year without punctuation.” — poet Donald Hall, after the death of his wife, Jane Kenyon

• FYI, I prefer Santa Monica at low tide (when there’s more of it).

• Coolest animals in the world: bobcats.

• “Hope is easy; faith is tough.” —reader Joe Paggi

• Inflation hack: Don’t buy a new $18 AC filter. Just shop-vac your old one.

• Only in L.A.: The new Lucas museum reportedly wants to be “inclusive,” so it’s offering simple fare such as club sandwiches and mozzarella sticks.

• Price of a burger at the Skywalker Grill: $38.

• Price of admission: $25.

• “If you want to grow the game, grow it in the United States.” —Jon Gruden

• Amen, brother.

• Trivia answer: A so-called “Goldilocks temperature” is neither too hot nor too cold, often found in fall and hovering around 65 degrees.

• My sisters are still two of the best people I know.

• My daughters rock too.

• The granddaughters? Tough to be objective. But they’re magic.

• More on the way?

• “I stepped out of Mississippi when I was 10 years old, with a suit cut sharp as a razor and a heart made of gold.” —B.B. King

• Dogs are family.

• Dogs are kindness.

• Dogs are gold.

  

  

  

  Next week: My five tips for grandparenting.

I remember years ago when my own parents would fly in to see their young grandkids. First thing, they’d pour a drink. That generation really knew how to grandparent.

—From next week’s column